Leaving it behind.

[97Hope]

I just made a snow angel!! Reminded of growing up in NY. I needed that.

Took a deep gulp of the ice cold air and smiled from ear to ear. Went for a nice long walk and feel refreshed.


Christian perspective:

God delivered manna to the Israelites as they left Egypt, but they complained because they missed the lavish dinners there. The problem was that they were slaves! But that didn't stop them from moaning and groaning about leaving it behind. God promised them a land of milk and honey. They yearned for the captivity they knew.

I thought about this today. When I get to thinking about my old MR and what it truly was - I have to remember it realistically. I can't yearn for those years behind me. As I have gone through the tapes, I realized that it was a terrible MR. I was cheated on multiple times. I was lied to repeatedly. My X claimed that I was controlling because I didn't accept that he was texting his subordinates at work inappropriately. I didn't like that he flirted with anything and everything...


deep breath...

Today I was given such great manna. Snow and the ability to laugh in the snow.

On to my own land of milk and honey. Right now it's my beautiful little apartment - safe, clean, calm.
Later, perhaps, a new R of some type. But now I know my worth. It came at a heck of a price. I won't waste it.

...I would not have minded a companion to play in the snow with me, but I did enjoy being a kid again.