Eagle, this is amazing amazing! You handled it so well and I am very excited for the peace you are going to start feeling. Give it time, you will see how detached going dark can help you to be. I am happy for you!

(I know it seems like a dark time to say I am happy for you. But in the crazy world of MLC, I am happy for you because you are starting to see clearly and be able to act on it.)

You are now doing this --

Those who hope... will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I don't know if that's why you picked the name Eagle or if you are a faith person, but that's what I thought of right away when I read this post.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.