KC, I’m so sorry you went through that. That’s terrible and no one deserves to be physically, emotionally or mentally abused.
I hope this is the true beginning of your awaking. When you are abused like that you start to believe you are worthless and deserve it. When you start the process of realizing you didn’t, and don’t it can be scary. Scary to start believe you’re worth more. So it can take baby steps, and progress what’s important. Not at anyone’s pace but your own. But let me say, you are worth more, you deserve more and confidence in that acknowledge is very attractive. Just be careful because it’s attractive to all types including those who want to take confidence away.
I know you state you miss the pilot, but what attracted him to you, was your availability to sex and keeping it a friends with benefits situation. I hope going through that situation helped you realize that maybe you just aren’t the type capable of having that relationship. You want more and fall easily. Or maybe you just want to fill the hole in your heart with a quick fix. I doubt you’ll honestly know anytime soon. You need more personal healing.
Just be honest with yourself and whomever comes next. Knowing what you need, and not settling for less will lead you to happiness.
Unfortunately there is absolutely no easy way out.
Hang in there. You have a whole lot of people rooting for you.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
