I'm at work on Saturday and my STBXH calls my office. I told him I would call him after work - it was about the puppy's tail.
So I've been fielding texts off and on since beginning Oct for this tail. He's been managing the best he from what I text him. When I called him after work he really needed me to look at the tail. We discussed options and ended up agreeing to meet him back at the clinic in 2hr.
I packed up some odds and ends that I had still come across at the house that were his - leather coats, miscellaneous other items.
There was PLENTY of time to talk as I had to sedate the dog... and when done had to wake the dog up. Talked mostly about the kids. He realized I know that SS21 is in some serious trouble but I was able to confirm that he knew this too. I asked if he what it exactly it was - he confirmed he did not. I said all I know is that it happened during deployment and that I let him know I was here for him if he ever wanted to talk. SS21 is dealing with a lot of shame right now and doesn't really want to come home. He is looking at a less than honorable discharge from what I gather and will be discharged. STBXH talked about having him live with him once he comes home and getting him into truck driving here.
I asked about the Alaska vaca which turned out to be canceled. Now he's going to Kona - scuba diving, living/working on a dude ranch, etc. I told him the dude ranch sounds like a blast.
He started showing me pictures of the first knife he is making in his forge - its a hunting knife for his son. It looks really amazing for his first one.
For the first time in a long time he actually asked about me - how was my friend B? Do you still do your women's group thing. That was interesting...
He suddenly said "I have no social life".... wait what??? I was like that's why you moved to X town - to have a social life. You had no social connections here. He was like "I don't like the bar scene". I was like well you moved there to be closer to friends/work people. He stated that he hasn't seen R and L in the last month as they had COVID. HMMMM.. is the grass looking a little less green???
I walked STBXH through every thing he needs to do to keep up with this issue. Got him meds... extra bandage material. Puppy is finally awake --- and YES, I'm all like "how's my big sexy baby feeling???" LOL to the dog. We walk outside and I start collecting his stuff from my vehicle and he's like "wow, I thought I had just misplaced that stuff... and I was looking for that other day". He is still yammering as we load up his truck with the stuff and puppy.
AND... I went for it... "who are going to Kona with?" He immediately said "just me"... oh really? He starts yammering on and asking how much we spent when we went as a family of 5? Told him to make sure he gets a picture of himself on a dude ranch and he goes on about how he doesn't have internet at the house and I reminded him he has a cell phone and data. He tells he no longer games at all - doesn't even open up his gaming laptop. I told him good for him.
I walked away from his truck 3 times... He kept popping back out and saying something or asking something so I'd turn around. At one point he jumped out of his truck and stated he was thinking about island hopping to Oahu for a Dole Whip. I must have given him one amazing smile because we both talked about trying to make them at home and they are not even close to the same. At that I turned around again and told him to let me know if he needed anything... I looked freaking amazing!!! My ass looked great in those jeans and boots!!!
I knew deep down he was lying to me. I know he is not going to Kona alone. I told my friend this and she got online and confirmed he is going with OW. I don't know why he continues to lie? But, I just don't care anymore. I've got no reason to call him out on it... its not worth my energy.
This interaction is what I want left in my memory.
Not all the other garbage stuff with that pain.
He is a good person with bad coping skills... END OF STORY.
