You are getting great advice! Read the threads posted and books recommended. NC is NC. You do it for real, or you don’t do it.
Also, you are a Nice guy deluxe (like me btw). Google a podcast about it, listen, then order that book too. It will change your life. Really.
Yeah I am reading the book now while I am waiting for the others I ordered already. Some things apply, some things don't. I am not afraid of conflict for example and can be more the opposite (when I know/believe that the person is committed to us mainly though). But I DEFINITELY fall into the nice guy category....
Forgot to mention that on Tue I met her while running at lunch time (I always alternate going to the gym with going running and she knows that I am running that day). She was running too and came over from the other side of the street and said hi. We talked a bit and I was not fully ready to be strong and positive in my communication, so she said she's sorry that she broke the NC. I said it's fine and if she wants to run a bit. So we ran for like 500m together.
I made quite a few mistakes there, partly because I was not prepared to see here that day. Like I am sorry for my behaviour and pushing her away several times towards the end. She said that it is not my fault and I said I know but it always takes two. That I know she is strong and will make it through.
That evening I also called her and told her a. when she can pick the rest of her things and b. that I can look for an apartment for myself as well in this month and we see who finds the best one (at that time I was not sure I would like to stay in a place with so many memories and most of the furniture is hers so me moving would simplify things).
I know many mistakes and nice guy behaviour - it's hard to be conscious about it all the time.
