Leaving it behind.

[97Hope]

Previous Thread



We have 3 grown sons and 3 grandsons and another grand on the way due in July.

The older 2 sons are writing him off and have said that they refuse to let J near them or the grands.

The youngest - 19 - has decided to stand by his dad's side until he has proof otherwise. (proof that he began the affair before the separation, I think.)

I respect his decision although I don't like it.

Mainly because that's what I did for 3 years and I know how bad it hurts..but then I started thinking about it all and I'm glad I gave XH benefit of the doubt. He violated my trust but that's on HIM. I can live with myself and have peace because until I had undeniable proof I honored my vows and commitment.

Now the big debate is "when did they start their R". I don't want anything to do with it. I can't believe this is my life sometimes. But other times I'm content and looking forward to my new career.

I told all of them that I would love and support them no matter what, and that I would respect their boundaries even if I didn't agree with them.

Have been telling them a lot that they are going to make choices that hurt me, but that it's ok. This is hard on everyone and I have my stuff to work through and it won't always be like this.

New level of detachment is necessary for me.

I am praying and working toward getting to the place where his life choices do not shake me anymore. I gave him too much power in the past and made great progress. I'm hoping this is a minor setback. It doesn't feel as deep and acute as the last revelations.

It's hard when you never know what new info you will receive and how it's going to feel.

Managing my emotions was extremely difficult yesterday, today is slightly better.

Thank you Steve for the comment. It is so true. I've seen it time and time again.

I'm tying not to focus on the fact that he is manipulating these kids and getting away with it.

Also needed a reminder that I'm not crazy and not self-doubt. that's a continuous journey.