I agree w/what DnJ posted to you. It's not wise to have a family counseling session at this time. If anyone should be seeing a counselor on their own right now is your w. She needs to look deeply within herself and figure out why she feels the way that she does. She can't do that if the focus is on the "family" unit.

Also, your children are old enough to speak and/or interact w/their mother and you have to step aside and allow their interactions w/their mother play out. Yes, you can listen and offer advice to them, but don't get in the middle of the mix when it comes to attempting to "fix" the communication problems between the parties.

Step back, allow things to play out and if you think you need counseling, then go...solo.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.