Thank you so much this is exactly the type of advice I need. I 100% need to figure out how to detach and maintain adequate boundaries.. I had a conversation with my sister last night precisely about this. I do not want to let go of her. It angers me that I feel this way despite the fact that she has obviously let me go but I can't help feeling the need to continue taking care of her and loving her. I sincerely think is is making a life altering mistake with no support system. She doesn't have anyone besides me to catch her when she falls. I at least have my sister, BF and brother.
I really have no other option but to go home. I need to figure out what I am going to do with the rest of my life. Need to earn an adequate income again and then decide where I want to live.
[I'd spend some time really thinking about the lines you need to draw around yourself to protect yourself when you go back into the situation and having your W right there in the same house but saying those same things.] - This is all I've been doing for the past two months. I know I need to protect myself emotionally when I return. Do not want to be in the same negative place I was in before I left.
This is going to be incredibly difficult. Just this evening she was supposed to call me after work because she wanted to discuss specifics about me coming home. I let her know yesterday that I bought my plane ticket. She was unable to talk last night so she texted that she would call me tonight. Well, I never got that call. Of course, I was upset. Instead of just letting it go, I looked at her call logs. She spent 1.5 hours on the phone with the OW, after she got home, instead of calling me. I know I should have never done this. No need for a 2x4. I gave myself one.
I wish I had someone like you to talk to when I'm about to make stupid choices like this. I seriously need to just DETACH, DETACH,DETACH.
