Through The Storm IV

[may22]

Hi KG!! Happy New Year! I am so glad to have an update from you. I've been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing.

I know this is all so tough. I'm really proud of you for taking the steps that need to be taken and moving forward, even though it is difficult.

I had a few thoughts to share for you to take or leave:

-- I agree with overrnbw. She is not fair, and she is greedy. She has consistently shown, over and over, that she is incapable of (or unwilling to) treat you with respect and fairness. You don't get to have both a W and an AP. She sniffs out your boundaries and then tramples on them, over and over. She likes having you stuck. It benefits her. Not because she is an evil person, but because she is lost and messed up and incapable of having an adult relationship right now, where you treat your partner with love, decency, and respect.

-- Can you take the paper signing as a point for you to really set up your boundaries and stop? Can you give yourself a break from her after the D? Like say, a month of NC? I think it is going to have to be you to do the work of setting the boundaries and then enforcing them. She will not do this. In fact, my guess is that she may even pick up the pace after the D is finalized, because in her mind she'll be able to tell herself that she isn't cheating anymore, that you clearly want to be friends with her and that is a positive thing, etc. I worry that nothing is going to really change until you are the one to step up, cut her out, and really focus on yourself for awhile without her there to hold you back.

KG, you just deserve so much more than she's giving you. And it makes my heart hurt to think about you guys Ding and her just continuing to use your beautiful, kind, giving soul, keeping you locked into her and unable to move on. You deserve to be #1 for someone who is as giving and selfless as you. (((KG)))

All that being said... how is work? And excited to hear how repainting the living room and making it YOU goes.

I feel like you're my sister in all of this, KG.... we've been through so much together and I have so much love and respect for you. I feel like once you shake off WW, I imagine you like Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman striding forward into life, shining and gorgeous with an open heart. (I haven't seen the new movie yet, so this is based on her in the first movie just in case anything crazy happens in WW1984!) You got this, KG. You're strong and I'm excited for you.

xoxo M