Ginger1 - Emotional Space - that makes sense. I guess I feel dense in that I didn't understand that but thanks for pointing it out.
Steve85 - Sounds like a plan. I'll be as upbeat as possible in those sessions.
LH - I constantly think of a book written by Shel Silverstein, The Missing Piece and The Big O. It basically outlines exactly what you're talking about. I read it to my daughter sometimes before she goes to sleep. When I think about our relationship it had some bad dynamics; I know I wasn't living my best life because I lived in fear of upsetting her. I think the term is definitely co-dependent or dependent. I still can't make sense of it.
I do need to find myself and learn to be alone and learn to feel fulfilled on my own. That will be a journey. And the midst of it I am broken hearted.
------------------- I feel like my subconscious has turned against me. Everyone night when I sleep I have dreams about her. Last night I had two or three. When I woke up after the second one I wrote the first two down so I could remember them. It feels like if I distract myself enough during the day to get away from it, I still have to deal with it in my sleep. It really [censored].
---------------- Tonight a buddy of mine invited me to his men's group. And then the Friday through Sunday I'm going on a retreat; Monday I get the kids back and I will have successfully weathered this five day storm without them.
---------------- I do feel blessed to have kept the house. It may have some memories in it, but it also just feels like home. The house she bought, which was more expensive, is about half the size but in a better location. I can't imagine how much worse I would feel if I didn't have my home.
