Quick outline for H's who have been BD'd by WW

[sandi2]

A big thanks to everyone for your kind words. We learn from one another. I've learned a lot from the LBS's.

Originally Posted by sandi2
B. Accept the fact that the bomb was not your wayward wife’s way of warning you that the marriage was in trouble. She was not trying to wake you in order to work on the marriage. It was her way of telling you it is too late and she is done with it. Do not act upon your urges to plead with her for another chance. Do not try to prove how much you love her. This is not the time. She doesn’t want it and will reject it.

Originally Posted by Joe2017
This really is a good point. It takes a little while to understand this because oftentimes the BD is a surprise to the LBH, while the WW has been thinking about doing this for a considerable time. There is little room for negotiation at this point. It's a huge bummer to realize this, but it is essential so that you can move on.

I think that's why some LBH's see their WW as being in a big hurry to move things along. It causes him to panic and frantically search for a quick solution before time is up. What he doesn't really grasp is that time is already up......as for as she's concerned. Therefore, all his attempts at winning her back, does nothing to stir her desire for him. Trying to win her means he is pursuing her.........which is the last thing he should be doing at this point. I think it's difficult for him to see his actions as pursuit.