R2C - I am seeing professional help, that's who told me I was depressed. I'm not sure that I'm ready to view my alone time as a positive yet. The house just feels incredibly empty when no one is there.
OnlyBent - I know you're right logically. I've heard similar stories from a number of men. A close friend of mine's ex came back 30 days before he married his new wife. Another acquaintance's wife came back after a year separation to move back in, then divorced him 6 months later and the day she was moving out changed her mind again and they are doing great. Another acquaintance was living separated in his home for years and this year, something changed and they are as happy as they have ever been. And another acquaintance remarried only to have his ex come back begging and she will not stop and leave him and his new wife alone. It may or may not happen in time. I know she has to walk her journey, and grow personally before anything could possibly change. I know all of this logically and I struggle to accept it because of my emotions and pain. I also struggle because I KNOW logically that she is making a mistake and I believe the outcome is harm to our kids, a permanent divorce, and pain for the people I love and care about the most, including myself. And I may be "happier" as everyone tells me in the long run, but I know this pain will always and forever exist in my heart. I have no doubt about that. Maybe one day I will move on and I'll make peace with this, time will tell.
AS - That's incredible, the whole story. I know, they want to cake eat and feel as much comfort from the marriage until they find the next thing that allows them to let go and move on. The more I let her cake eat the less pain she feels now, the less pain she feels now the easier it will be for her to avoid reflecting, if she doesn't reflect she will have fewer regrets sooner, and that pushes out the time from which she needs to think about what she has done pushing out the time of a possible reconciliation.
