Stay friendly and detached. Monetary advantages aside; the rewards/blessings for doing so are invaluable.
His guilt is consuming him. Typically a better deal can be struck when their guilt is pressuring them.
Letting them do the heavy lifting can come in many forms. My then W told me what she wanted. I let her decide and craft her deal. She started with me having everything - kids, house, money, cars, etc... With a bit of back and forth between me and my L, and me and W, the first draft included a lump sum payment to her and the waiving of her rights to things. Her lawyer, of course, advised her against such a thing.
Then time set in, as her lawyer made her see two separate financial planners/counsellors. She got more and more frustrated, wanting that quick divorce. I stayed friendly - in truth I was heartbroken and completely un-detached. But, she had moved out and moved on the night of BD. The second draft was more money, an amount she again proposed (its pretty telling if you turn down your own proposal so let them do the heavy lifting). My L drafted it and sent it to her L. She mulled it over a few days and signed, against her L’s advice. He even made her sign a waiver that she was going against his advice. She also had OM with her during these meetings with her L. I’m pretty sure OM’s advice/counsel was not that valuable.
The only item that I snuck in (well snuck out really) - I removed W’s stipulation that I would formally charge her with adultery. She actually had that stated in her counter proposal. She wanted to plead guilt to adultery, in court, charged under the law. Strange. And she wasn’t pleased after she found out, and all was signed.
The heavy lifting, the separation, was her’s. I just didn’t stand in her way. It’s business. It was a good deal. So I signed the dotted line.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.