She filed in October, I signed it all. It was amicable, no alimony, no spousal support and fixed 1,000 a month child support. She can’t come after my retirement or anything, All in all it was decent for me legally. If the divorce goes through honestly I’d be fine with that. At this point in my life I’m not lifting a finger for my M. Even if she stops the D it’s only because she realized she F’d up but it doesn’t mean she loves and respects me. I really do understand that. Believe that the very last thing in the world I want is to feel the pain I felt the last 3 months. It came close to breaking me. I barely pulled myself through.
In other news got the VA to set me up with in-person therapy and start on anti-depressants some sertraline 25mg then to 50 will follow up in 4 weeks. Doctor asked me if i can take some time off once i told him where i work lol, (it’s a emergency room for people with psychotic breakdowns) i told him I can’t since i am part time and got no paid time off. He understood and apologized for what i been dealing with, commended me for not picking up drinking or anything else destructive. It meant a lot to me, after the war i drank a lot. Glad i got that finally rolling through the actual VA and not out of pocket anymore. But man It takes them forever, but I need it. My self esteem took a big ol whooping. My kids are closer to me than ever before and they are very happy with me, that’s my silver lining here. As much as this destroyed my life In many ways it really brought me and the kids together even more.
I’ll update if anything changes. For now I ride the wave, I do nothing but care for myself and my kids. And I’m honestly totally okay with that.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
