Yesterday evening I scrolled a little bit on my phone and came across the following. I guess this is how we all need to feel at some point. Not immediately, time will tell...
When I think about him and me and what happened between us, I get pretty sad at first. Or is it empty?
Not just because of what he did but because of what I let happen and to whom I let myself fade.
I stopped being who I was and too often forgot to stand up for myself.
I wanted him to be right and the kids of course, but where was I in all that story ?!
I lost bits of myself, I put them away to keep what was there.
My intuition was the first thing I put in a box and aimed high in a closet, then my internal compass, also somewhere in a box, and finally my common sense.
That was somewhere in the non-existent basement.
My mistake, of course, not his.
Of course he never asked me to do that, but he never asked me to take the boxes back out of the cupboard.
And in the end it all turned out not to be enough to save it. Or to save him. Or the family.
But I do know that my self-love and self-esteem were stronger than what was in the closets and basement.
I felt that forgiving myself for what I had failed myself and where I went wrong were crucial to moving forward.
Of course I also had to forgive him but the love for myself was fortunately greater to continue with a high head and a broken heart.
And where my thoughts of us first make me sad, then they make me powerful and happy.
It taught me to regain full access to myself, every millimeter of myself is my property again.
Ultimately, we only have to live with ourselves.
To learn to live.
Or to survive, if things go against the grain.
But don't let anyone take your self-love or self-esteem away from you. Own it. Claim it.
Afterwards you will say to yourself: how did I allow that? How did I allow that?
No one is so important that you have to sell yourself short.
So, be aware if you see yourself putting things in the closet.
It is not worth it.
You are worth more.
For all the love in the world, no one is worth short of yourself. ❤️
