Quick outline for H's who have been BD'd by WW

[Joe2017]

SUCH A GREAT POINT. I know I struggled with this. I see other LBHs really struggling with this. The time to "fix" the marriage was up to two years prior! By time the WAW/WW gets up the nerve to blow things up, it is too late at that point. Which is why becoming super-Husband has little to no chance of working, even though that is the instinctual and intuitive response.

This really is a good point. It takes a little while to understand this because oftentimes the BD is a surprise to the LBH, while the WW has been thinking about doing this for a considerable time. There is little room for negotiation at this point. It's a huge bummer to realize this, but it is essential so that you can move on.

C. Focus on self healing, rather than relationship healing. Gather reading material, confide in someone who is professionally bound to confidentiality, meditate, take alone time outside with nature, listen to motivational tapes, post on the DB board, and listen to music that energizes you. Socialize with positive people, and those who honestly love you. Don’t seek communication, solace, or advice with her circle of friends or relatives. Stay off Face Book and other social media types. Take exceptional care of your physical wellness. It is not a sign of weakness to take medication, if needed. Talk to the man in the mirror every morning while shaving. You need to be his best friend.

I like the social media advice. It is very very tempting to go spy on your WW's social media... I did it. She never unfriended me. She almost relished in the idea that I could see the things she was doing with the OM. It hurt me a WHOLE lot.

My suggestion for social media is to post a positive and smiling profile picture of yourself, and then log out until you heal up some. Don't post anything that hints at any kind of marital issues. Don't dog your WW out on social media, don't start a GoFundMe for your legal defense, seek any kind of attention, or ANYTHING like that. She and her friends and her OM are going to be stalking your profile. Your marriage is now a divorce, which is a very public business transaction. Stay professional at all times. Post a smiling profile picture, set your profile to private, and then log out and go radio silent on social media. Do NOT EVER stalk her social media. It will only hurt you constantly.