LH, you are right on all your points. My actions ARE confusing for H, although it took you saying that for me to really understand it, so thank you. I need to get consistent in my actions for ME. As a side effect, it may clear up that confusion for H.
And I also agree with your comments about moving to MLC forum. I do believe H is going through an MLC and the perspective from this side helps me understand the 'script' coming from him-- and externalize it so that *I* can heal. I deeply admire long-term standers on this forum, but I know in my heart that I will move on before too long.
I am glad that my comments helped you to understand the dynamic.
I read once in a book that people like to diagnose people that break up with them with depression, MLC, etc. so they have an excuse to continue to love someone who hurt them so bad. After all they are full grown adults who know the difference between right and wrong. They CHOOSE to do what they do knowing they are hurting many people involved.
Imagine being in court and the lawyer tried to use the MLC defense. Sorry defendant you are guilty as charged.
Again this doesn't mean you will never get back together again. It just means you are moving forward with your life.
