I am also coming to terms that not only do I not want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, but I also don't want to even be around anyone who doesn't desire my company or treat me with basic respect, kindness and regard. I have enough healing and growing to do at the moment to be swept up in the tornado of someone else's projections.
Bingo!
Also - re: the housecleaning: one of my ex's complaints about me was that I wasn't a tidy enough housekeeper (actually the best thing we ever did for our marriage was get a cleaning lady to come in once every two weeks). But recently I digitized all our home movies from when the kids were little, and you know what? Our house looks awesome in every one of them! Almost like a beach casual house out of apartment therapy or something. Uncluttered, no dust bunnies, pretty darn clean for a house with three kids and a German Shepherd who shed a lot!
Teach the kids to clean with you once a week for your OWN sake (and theirs), but let go of your H's negativity around it.
