We sign papers this week. I'm feeling very nervous and uneasy, but I know this is the right decision. WW moved out shortly before Thanksgiving. I'm settling into having my own place again and looking for ways to make it more "me". Currently, it looks barren and cold. I have a plan to repaint the main living room and am buying some funky abstract oil paintings to fill the space. Hopefully, that will be the first steps of making it my own.
WW and I still talk daily and spend a fair amount of time together. I'm really trying to let go and shift my focus to myself. It's still really hard at times, but easier than the time surrounding D-Day and D-Day 2. Our communications are mostly cordial and friendly, with very little pet names or flirting (which is a marked improvement from where I was 6 months ago). I'm working on letting go entirely. A part of me is hoping that will come easier after we sign papers. Maybe I'll feel safer to create boundaries and stop eating sh** sandwiches and stop gobbling up crumbs. I know that I feel at risk for some type of fight from being screwed over so much in past relationships. I am really proud of how amicable everything has been throughout the D prep. I feel like we have both been fair to each other and haven't tried to be greedy. Things I have gotten really good at: not reaching out to WW (I still respond - ugh crumbs) , making plans on my own with friends and without WW , finding other fun things to occupy my time.
I'm fairly certain WW is back with AP in secret. Funny story. I went to WW apartment to cook and watch a kids movie with our nephew this last weekend. SIL made a comment about WW being gone all night last night and that she assumed it was a "booty call" and that she was staying the night with me at the house. I looked at WW, smiled politely, and answered SIL that WW wasn't with me. Things did not get awkward and I didn't actually have an emotional response which I took as a win for myself. I'm trying to not let anything that WW does or doesn't do have any space in my mind. It's not easy, but I'm working on it.
I hope everyone had a good holiday season with their families.
KG
LBW 32 - me WW 31 T 7 M 4 No Kids 4 dogs
Separated 1y Navigating the mine field and GAL with or without
