I'm considering having a conversation with my W regarding the kids and OM2 staying overnight when they're there and having breakfast together.
What she does on her parenting time is none of your business. I know it is a very bitter pill to swallow, but unless the law is being broken or child services need to investigate the mental/physical welfare of the children........nothing will be done. Even your lawyer said there is nothing. It stinks, but it's all part of this type of horrible sitch.
BL42, having a conversation with your WW about this subject will basically give her a "one up", b/c she knows you can't control her side of the street.
There's a more important reason for not telling her the kids told you, and that's b/c she'll threaten them about ever discussing what goes on in that house. Then the kids will feel they can't trust you to not report what they've said. Bad idea, in IMHO.
We see this a lot on the board, so you aren't the only dad having to accept that co-parenting and discussing the children does not include her lack of moral standards. If OM doesn't cause a threat to the kids, the law will do nothing and you come out looking like a pathetic controlling fool.......instead of a caring father. Let it go. Focus on what goes on when you have the kids, rather than when she has them. Don't you know they go back telling her how much fun they had with Daddy, and that they didn't have to share his time with someone else (like their mom does)? The kids don't talk about it to hurt the parent, it's just how kids are........and they do it in both houses. One thing they don't need is for a parent to drill them about what was said by the other parent. Know what I mean?
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
