I don't disagree with you, but that is his work, not mine. I can't do it for him or suggest it or engineer it. When he's ready to figure out how to handle this, he will, or he won't. My job is to focus on myself and my kids and keep an open mind about the future, maybe with him, maybe not if he never does the work and I reach a point where I'm no longer willing to stay. But I'm committed to staying in my lane as best I can.
Cheers, M
Dang, you're right! If there's anything DB has taught us it's to work on the things we control and let the rest go.
Still ... an anecdote. About 15 years ago I gained a lot of weight. I was 50 pounds over my high school weight, 30 pounds over a practical adult weight for my height. My wife (e.g., STBXW) knew I was sensitive about it and didn't want to talk about it. But she'd heard my complaints looking in the mirror, and one day put a Weight Watchers brochure on my pillow. I chucked it. A month or so later on she put an article on my pillow by a man saying how much WW had helped; while that wasn't strictly one of my objections, reading the article by another fellow got me over the hump. I went a few Saturdays later, and the rest is history. I lost nearly all the weight.
What am I saying? You're right, discussing it with H might not be appropriate. But maybe, as you see him softening, and things improve, you can indirectly steer him that way. Or have his best friend suggest it. Or his priest. Just thinking out loud.
Happy New Year and for you I think it will be a good one!
