Tom_I, Wonder why I am posting, do you? What do you want? Wow, a GF before you came here. What relationship do you want? You are a complex person Wish you the best. dunnm
These are good questions. Yes, it might seem like things were happening backward. But I didn't discover DB until 11 months after BD, and I decided I had to move on long before that when my ex walked out in Sept 2019.
I came trying to understand why things fell apart and how I can improve myself. That need was there regardless of whether I had a GF or not, most definitely. As for your other comment -- complex, me? Yes, guilty as charged.
What relationship do I want? I do not want to remain single. I am made for connection and I do want to remarry. However, I have learned an enormous amount here on DB and am quite sobered by the statistics about the failure of second marriages; I am also very interested in WHY second marriages fail. I explore that weekly with my therapist and with others here on DB, especially Steve85. Even Sally and I have discussed this. A friend of hers just had a second marriage fail after one year and Sally and I have discussed this intensely. Personally, I would rather not remarry than remarry with a high risk of a second divorce.
