Ginger and Steve85 - I agree with both of you. Spot on. And I guess nothing I can do about it but move on. Its just so horrible. I've read the last resort technique and all the advice here is not to reach out to her. It never worked before and I'm not sure she has had enough reality yet.
I don't think she'll see this for what it is for a long time. Its depressing and sad and horrible. I hate seeing my family get blown up like this. I want to call her and try to level with her, and I know it would be of no use. It just [censored].
What you are struggling with is something cadet refers to as the illusion of action. Doing nothing feels foreign and unnatural so you feel there is something you should do. cadet likes to point out that doing NOTHING is doing something. Making the decision to NOT reach out ot her is as much of as an action as reaching out to her would be. And in the LRT that is the right action, and actually reaching out would be the wrong action. Trying to talk her into changing her mind has a very low likelihood of working, makes you look needy and weak, and will likely do more harm than good. This is a woman that is completely ignoring you running into at church, so it is illogical to believe that another reach out and leveling with her would change anything. LRT is counter-intuitive, but if you think about it, acting intuitively hasn't worked. The only other choice is to do the counter-intuitive and give it time.
Your best hope is that she does what I suggested above. Some day wake up to the fact that she is no longer with you, yet she is still unhappy. And therefore that means that you weren't the reason for her unhappiness. When that happens she may or may not reach out to you and want to talk, get together, etc. By time that happens, maybe several years from now, you will probably have completely moved on and be uninterested. But at a minimum she may share with you that she made a mistake.
Scott, 2021 is going to be a good year for you! Believe it or not. Once you get through all of this, like so many others that have been through it, you will see light at the end of the tunnel. And you might come to the realization that you really weren't all that happy yourself with your the state of your MR, and that happier times are ahead of you.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
