Unfortunately I'm back with much less positive news...
I urgently need your advice.
We went, together with the children, to the country where he currently works and lives during the Christmas Holidays.
It was horrible. I will not go into detail as my message will be way too long. I sincerly thought he was slowly on his way back but he went deeply back into the tunnel.
Reason...99% sure OW2 has come up, I guess since about 1 month.
On the 26th he adviced me we should have a divorce, on the 31th of December I saw conversations on his phone with a new women, somebody who also lives in that country...I was pretty devasted. Asked him to be honest with me but he fully denies he has a relationship with her. It is just somebody who listens to him and understands him. Nothing more...but he did mention it could be more in the future.
I immediately took my distance and said that we would go forward with the divorce now if that is what he wanted. That is has been two years now and if OW2 was involved we could not proceed like that anymore.
Blaming, spewing, etc, all was back. It was like we went back in time to about 1 year ago...
On the 2nd of January we flew back and he said he would leave me alone for a bit now to progress everything and to give me some time to start arranging the divorce.
Today I received a nice message if he could call me. I told him, yes, no problem and so he did.
From the first tone the blaming started again. Why I didn't inform him about how our return flight went, how the children were doing , if I had contact with his family and my family and if I told them about the divorce etc. I stayed calm and told him that we had an agreement to leave each other alone for while to process everything and that if he wanted to know how the children were and the family, that he needed to get in touch with them directly and not through me.
He hung up the phone and send me several messages now that this is not the normal way of doing, that we need to talk about everything together, that he will contact a lawyer now and this lawyer will contact me about expenses of joint accounts, mutual consent before certain expenses may be made, custody arrangement, alimony,...
He completely lost it. I have not answered to these messages and immediately changed all my passwords, took statements of our bank accounts. What else do I need to do?
I'm devasted, what is going on? Is this because he feels he is losing control over me?
