It’s sounds like 20 years of trying to get someone to be something they aren’t. That almost never works. It sounds like she showed you who she was from the beginning. And your overcompensation was the result, probably hoping she would change. Sounds like a lot of incompatibility . And a whole lot of enabling. Why did you pick out her apartment? Did she ask you to? Or was she not making the decision as fast as you wanted, or in the way you wanted, so you jumped in? It also sounds like you picked up more of a role of father, rather than partner ?
