Wow, Scotty, something you said really stood out to me. Maybe a misuse of words, maybe not.
You said you spent the last 20 years of your life, trying to create the best life and future FOR her. She’s an adult woman. Her spouse should be building a life WITH her, not FOR her.
Ginger - I completely agree with you. When I would ask my wife what she wanted in the future she would say “I don’t think like that” or “I don’t set goals.” It made it hard to builds a life together. I planned all our trips and vacations, all our dates, everything. I struggled to get her to speak up and she would often say she didn’t have a voice. It was a struggle.
Obviously, you know now that is a huge red flag. I point it out for newcomers that might read this. One of the first signs of trouble in my own sitch was my W quit talking about the future and future plans. We had talked about buying a new house 4 1/2 years before BD. She immersed herself in searching for houses, and I dragged my feet. She didn't know that I was putting cash away so we could buy a new house before selling our old one. I was getting a down payment in place. 6 months before BD she gave up on the house search. For nearly 5 years finding houses was her pastime, but suddenly any mention of a new house was met with head shaking and insistence that she was done looking for a house. Snooping after BD revealed she had been looking up apartments for several weeks. She also no longer discussed having people over, future vacations, or any other future plans. In hindsight I probably should have seen BD coming. There were red flags everywhere.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
