Happy new year! New year new me! Hahahaha. J/k. Just another year. Had dinner with a friends New Year’s Eve then passed out on my couch alone before midnight and had some texts. ExH always texts me at midnight, happy new year. Had dinner with my cousins the next night at a nice steak house. I got stimulated, so I had a few extra bucks, lol. Today D13 and I are doing bowling and dinner.
I got kind of triggered over something today. 13 years later. ExH wanted to share a video from FB of D13 when she was 4. I am not nor have I ever been friends with him on FB. I recently set up an account for D13 on my FB for her new gaming system ( you need one) . So I friended him from her account. Which gave me full access to his FB account. I scrolled a little. And I wish I hadn’t something that may never ever be completely tolerable to me and seeing them as a family and her acting like D13 is her kid. It gets under my skin something awful. Taking pictures in matching clothes for photos. Her making shoutouts to what what a great father and husband and best friend he is and how lucky D13 and her are to have him. I felt a rage build up in me. They celebrate their 10 th anniversary on April fools. I’ll say, it’s one thing to have your husband cheat and leave, but then have to witness the affair and her being a family with your child for the rest of your life, is like a lifelong punishment in many ways. Sometimes I feel like I must be a super horrible person to have to witness this for the rest of my life. And I guess I also feel my anger building because I think there is a chance he is a better person and a better partner now. Even my dad who has wanted to murder him says it. It’s what’s best for D13 for sure. But again, huge pills I have swallow and not choke on.
That’s all. Time to get ready for bowling. We need to get out and have some fun.
