When I read your posts, I sometimes have to stop and read slower because at moments my empathy is so tuned in to exactly what you are going through, it is as if I am reading about myself. I feel so much of what you are feeling, what you are going through and all I can really say is that I empathize and I am right there with you.
I know you read Gerda's post on my thread, the one about being forced to watch as someone rips your heart out and then wanting pity and understanding for doing so. Those were some of the wisest words I have ever read and it gave me a new lens through which to process everything.
I have had some recent interactions, similar to yours, where there was some enlightened messages from H and some spewing in a conversation. And in that conversation (I read a similar theme in yours), I was finally able to see that my contribution to our current situation is analogous to an inch of oil floating on top of a deep well of water. I am responsible for that inch of oil, but I am really not responsible for the rest of the well. And whether that well water was generated from within him or due to childhood trauma or anything else really, is not really important. What is important is that I am only responsible for the oil floating on top.
I hope you have a great weekend, I am thinking of you!
