Gerda, I hope and pray that this year will be a much calmer one for you and your family. Your h is a very strange one because he has done everything humanly possible to destroy you and whatever financial benefits that you both had. I may be looking in from the outside, but he reminds me so much of my xh because my xh tried every trick in the books to destroy me as well as whatever assets we had. My lawyer once said that it appeared as if he really didn't want a divorce but didn't have the guts to call it quits, so he nitpicked everything to death in the hopes that I would throw up my hands and say enough and either give him what he wants or to keep the status quo. It's very difficult when you have to deal w/a nitwit who can't see the forest for the trees.
Stay the course and try to remain as calm as possible when dealing with the judge, etc. You've been at this entirely too long and it's time for this train to reach the summit, go over the summit and come down the other side to a more peaceful existence for you and your children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
