Introverted is part of your identity. If you changed that, you might have turned on pilot, but turned off the next guy. I'm outgoing/introverted. My GF is, too. She likes that I "get" that when we go to a party she can talk to a dozen people for a bit but then needs breaks to recharge! My "intermediate girlfriend" I initially met at a (pre-COVID) party, because four of us introverts all chose the same natural place to recharge.
It's a much better feeling when someone says "Next" when you're being yourself and just not right for them, than to act like something you're not, and be Nexted when the real you may have clicked with them. If you couldn't tell, I'm a strong advocate for writing up-front dating profiles and being authentic when dating. Which, of course, didn't preclude my car and home being cleaner than usual, lol. I tried to be myself on my better days on first dates, not like I look after driving 14 hours and too much caffeine.
I get that.... and I told him I'm an introvert... and it was sort of a running joke. But, I'm not an outgoing introvert. I'm shy but once I feel comfortable in a situation... I'm good... game on.
But, I can look back to other situations. I was dating a guy I knew from high school prior to meeting my husband. Of course, given our past history it was easy to connect right off the bat. The problem came in meeting his friends. I did not say much of anything... true to myself I sat observed and listened. I was engaged in the convo and made eye contact but frankly the 3 of them having know each other for a long time dominated the conversation... I was getting to know them by listening. He felt I did not like his friends because I was so quiet. Once I explained the situation he was cool with it and tried leaning back more so the conversations didn't seem dominated about the 3 of them.
So --- I probably dodged a bullet. I mean I would have gotten to the point I talked non-stop to the pilot for sure but first time meeting his friends/family I probably would have bombed it. I mean I would have hopefully taken a moment to let him know upfront that I would be listening and observing hopefully... and then he would perhaps be understanding. Who knows.
When it came to my STBXH - his family is HUGE. And, some really took the time to sit and talk one on one with me which is easier... which is why 3 of his Aunts/Uncles are my favorite!!! it was easier to navigate a conversation one on one than in a group situation. Of course he was sooo into me at the time he didn't care how I felt about his family and vice versa.
