Still taking it a day at a time (2)

[may22]

Thanks Gerda, Cardinal, Steve! Happy New Year, everyone! I hope everyone here is doing okay.

Gerda, yes... torture. But something I'm ready to let go of, for now. I decided I want to start this new year with a fresh, clean view of the world, and part of that is kicking AP out of residence in my head. I'm tired of her freeloading in my head space. I really don't need to think any more about her or how my H did feel about her or feels about her now or may feel about her in the future. I'm over it. So I'm giving it over to the Universe as you suggested. It feels really, really good. Thanks for your encouragement here... it's helped me a lot. I'm starting to think about what forgiveness might look and feel like, starting with myself.

Cardinal, thinking of you-- my daughter made meringue cookies yesterday and they're perfect. And, I remember packing that box of ornaments last year so clearly and am sending all my love your way knowing how that felt. (I actually did it again this year. I don't know why. It felt totally unnecessary and silly in my gut, but my head said it was just as easy to put his together so why not... he has no idea though, of course.) I can't believe it's been a year since we first "met!"

I read an article the other day about a 12 year old who wrote a letter to her future self about 2020, asking her future self to not take things like hugging people for granted. It made me think of how difficult the past year has been for so many reasons, some related to the pandemic, some not. There are a lot of things I'm grateful for in the past year, and one of them is the community here, without which I would have struggled far, far more than I already have... so thank you.

Love, M