“Why am I so desperate for this guys attention” is exactly something you should be figuring out in therapy instead of lining of more bandaids/ dates.
But for some reason you are ok with recognizing That you have destructive habits and patterns but don’t seem so interested in getting to the root of fixing them, instead you just keep plowing along on the same destructive path.
Why is that? Why are you openly willing to recognize your behaviors are problems, but you don’t want to address it? Are you scared of the work it requires? Because you don’t seem like someone who isn’t afraid of hard work
I suppose its no better than self medicating with drugs or alcohol.
I recognize its fear/anxiety. I even know that this guy I'm stuck is just a rebound in every sense... but I wanted to hang on to that a little longer because frankly it was fun... and technically GAL if we go there... LMAO!
I've poured a ton of work into myself. Books, videos, programs.
I'm working through my past traumas. This guy I fell for complained that I never talked... which I know I did but I was also quiet but frankly he talked a lot and so I just listened. But his perspective was I don't talk. Well frankly I spent the last half of my M being told to STFU... so I need time to get my wall down. I should have said I appreciated him patience with me... instead I was totally passive aggressive and he shut down.
