Tom, I’ll be honest. I find your posting style very weird. You dole out incomplete pieces of a story, bait people into commenting, then lambast them for offering perspective based on incomplete information. You also hint at other things happening that would give a clearer picture, but force people to ask rather than just being open and sharing it all. Why is that? The attitude I get from you is that we have to prove that we’re worthy of reading your story and participating in this thread. It comes off extremely entitled.
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I tried to be as empathetic as possible. I first wrote her a short note, handwritten on an embossed card, that said it appears we had both undergone significant life transitions recently (I saw the obit for her husband) and would she be interested in reconnecting? I ended the note saying, if she found this letter to be unwelcome, just let me know by email or USPS and I would not reach out again.
I think this demonstrates again that you don’t fully understand empathy. Going purely off the information you shared in that paragraph, your actions just seem self-serving. I don’t actually see any empathy here. Empathy would have been sending the card with the sole purpose of offering sincere condolences for her loss, NOT talking about yourself with the goal of rekindling your romantic connection. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you did address her husband’s passing and just didn’t mention it here, because it’d be pretty damn cold if you didn’t. Maybe you sent flowers along with the card too, since you’re such a kind person? I’d be interested if you were willing to clarify?
