I'm writing to thank you for your insights about wayward wives. Everything you wrote about WWs has come true. Absolutely everything. I read all your posts for newcomers on WWs and they matched the behavior I saw in mine.
I found this forum just over a year ago, and even though I just filed for divorce last week I still hope one day my WW and I can reconcile and start over.
I take full responsibility for my part in the downfall of the M. I was not perfect. My behavior contributed towards creating an atmosphere that allowed for her resentment, bitterness and disrespect to flourish. We resented each other for years due to our differences and never sought counseling. The last thing she said to me on the day she announced her separation was that she wanted an emotional connection. And that was it - she went out and found one. Since then her personality has transformed into someone I don't know. It's as if someone swapped her SIM card out.
WW is in complete denial and has thrown everything away and left me during the holidays to go live with OM. I have two daughters so I lose them 50% of the time. The irony of our situation is that WW is a full time mom to his kids but a part time one to mine.
You have no idea how valuable your insights are. I think you should write a book about wayward spouses. You are correct that traditional methods for repairing a marriage do not work with a wayward spouse. The mindset is focused on rebellion and satisfying their needs. They are not looking for changes their betrayed spouse can make because they've already checked out.
I think before any broken marriage can be saved, the distinction has to be made first between a WAW and a WW otherwise much time can be lost if the wrong approach is taken.
I have kept a journal since last year when I got the bomb drop. It's sad seeing a good person rapidly change their character and nature. We were raised Christians so she does have a moral foundation.
I emphasize again - please write a book on this. The betrayed and the wayward need this material. You could write for both. I have thoroughly searched the web and there is nothing out there other than what you've posted. The closest thing I found was affair fog but there is nothing specific about the symptoms you describe.
Thank you again for your contribution to this forum and have a happy new year.
