Finally DBing and Accepting

[Steve_]

Im just going to call this post Revelations.. here are a few things I have finally realized and accepted and a small update.

1.WW didnt get a gun put to her head, she chose to be with OM, shes not a victim of some evil plan.
2. Its not my fault she chose to leave, she had a litany of other things she could have done.
3. After Identifying what I failed in the M beating myself up about it does no good (hardest one)
4. There is not a dang thing I can say or do to make her "fog" go away.
5. Children and family know what is going on, no need to drag them into it more, they see and hear and think too.
6. My WW misses me and does have guilt, but not the way I want her to, its because of her own image, its not remorse.
7. If I continue to let this hurt me it will, It cannot be avoided and it will hurt but I MUST make efforts to feel better.
8. All the mistakes I made not DBing perfect dont matter, they are done and gone, its human, what is important is to do better each day, nobody can DB perfect, some of us are just more attatched/co-dependant than others and it takes longer.
9. My WW is experiencing discomfort with her new reality, its not regret or remorse its just missing the stuff I did for her that OM doesnt, the messy situation she is in, it doesnt mean she loves me, if she did she wouldnt have left.
10. This journey is a long one, there is no quick-fix, magic words, or love spells to make it better, only time and working on yourself do, let the rest flow along, I can only control me and be the person I want to be, nothing more.

The update: She is not so happy with OM and apparently he isnt that stoked about what he bought either. OM is upset because my WW doesnt want to watch his 3 kids, stay at home and cook and clean all day. WW has been arguing with him over things and pretty much sleeps all day and has started to detatch from him. OM's own mom even says "this aint gonna last" along with everyone else. At first I let that give me some hope my WW learned her lesson and naturally would come back LOL! Yeah, no, not like that at all, she still has her "reasons" that she left they dont just dissapear when her love for OM does, and love for OM doesnt just dissapear either. There is zero % garuntee she will want me back once OM leaves, she may decide she wants to play the field for awhile (what im betting on). Then maybe when she has sewn her wild oats she will invite me back as a "room mate" and then have me do all the fatherly stuff and reluctantly commit to more time with me until she finds something better, assuming she doesnt during her in-between phase. I see this clearly now. I am not the champ in her mind, if I was she wouldnt have left. Thinking anything other than this is delusional. It will take lots of time, lots of patience and a big dose of reality for her to place any real value on me again, and thats only *if* she doesnt just jump around to something "better" again. Im pretty sick of that, Im worth a lot more, and there a lots of people who would love someone as committed, honest and good as I am. I dont deserve that, and that is what my future holds if I dont be very very cautious moving forward. If anything new comes up ill post it here. Otherwise im pretty much doing LRT and GAL.