Listen. I’ve been there. In my early broken state, I’ve done stuff that was embarrassing and desperate appearing. All you can do is move on and LEARN FROM IT. The more you try to do undo it, the worse it will get.
You realize you don’t know what you want, you are trying to bandage a wound in the very wrong place which is only causing more damage.
Stop looking for attention in all the wrong places. Who is this married man you are texting?
You are spinning out of control looking for anything to take away the pain and those very things are causing you more pain.
Stop. Take a breather. Very strongly consider therapy. It will be very helpful. Look for all the healthy ways to soothe yourself. You’ll get through this. But the point is you have to get through it. Can’t get over it, can’t get under it, through it is the only way
Thank you - I'm very much aware I'm using a bandaid on a bullet wound.
The married man was supposed to be just a friend. He's unhappily married and I keep pushing to work on his marriage but he's starting to cross that line... and I will NOT be that woman. That has to stop.
I just cannot believe how I behaved with this guy -- I don't think he's a bad guy... I think I would have liked to have dated him. Can't go backwards - right?
Tomorrow is my atty appt where I'm telling her its time to file... I know that is weighing on me too. I've given up on getting STBXH back but it just seems so final... like I'm giving up on life or something. I never thought I'd lose my marriage - it became such an identity to me.
