You’re broken KK and you won’t take the time and effort to go to IC and fix your issues. All the work you did with the books isn’t going to stick because you did it to get your STBXH back.
Bingo ^^^
I get it... But I've given up on getting STBXH back. Still plugging through the books and sometimes I just have to put them down because my mistakes are just too painful to see all at once. I 100% know that I'm not the only one that made mistakes. Accepting that its too late for us is part of the pain that I need to process.
It doesn't help that the puppy had another tail injury today so STBXH is blowing up my phone with text and a long phone call. Its a business call. Like taking care of shared children. We are kind and polite and THIS TIME not only did he finally say thank you... he said it TWICE!!!
Its this WEIRD juxtaposition of how kind we are to one another... AND tomorrow I file for D.
I'm totally okay with it. But the irony is completely there.
And, I'm fully aware that the pilot was a bandage over a bullet hole. I'm just displeased with my seriously questionable behavior with him. I'm just humiliated over it. I probably owe him an apology... but will that just make things worse? Leave it lie or just a simple apology for my behavior and delete his number?
NYE is going to be rough... I let him go out alone. I was exhausted with raising a 10week old puppy. He didn't come home that night until 5am. That's the night he met up with OW for the first time and she started chasing him. I get it... she could not have caught him if he wasn't willing.
