Why do I turn into such a doormat??? Why do I humiliate myself with chasing something that doesn't want me??? Why am I being friends/texting a married man to boot on top of all of this???
And, why is it that my closest male friend of 40yrs... and I mean we are extremely close... why is that we never make it work??? (((we have this convo every so many years))).
I want off the speeding train and just to visit the circus for awhile.
I wish I was the kind of person who could bury my issues in alcohol.
***NYE is gonna to be a HUGE trigger for me*** Maybe that's why I'm such a hotter mess than usual.
