I’m glad to hear your Christmas was good. Nice to see S19 joined you visiting your family.
It’s unfortunate W didn’t/wouldn’t respond timely to the text from the boys about their Birthday gifts for her. Just dropping it off at the door was most likely not what they wanted to do. The exchange of Christmas gifts sounds like it went better and more like they would have wanted it.
S21 not wanting to go inside her apartment is pretty normal. The MLCer’s level of strangeness and confusion is usually shown in their living surrounds; difficult thing for a son (or daughter) to see.
Originally Posted by Taz
She still hasn't told the boys she filed for D. I guess she's leaving that to me. Should I tell them? Or wait for her to garner the courage to do it?
Yes, tell them. They are old enough to know and deserve to know.
You wanted them to know, after this semester’s exams. I’d tell them soon, like today, so they can have some time to adjust, question, and start the acceptance process before the start of the next semester.
Consider it this way. Do you want them to know? Pretty sure, that’s an “of course I want them to know”.
Would you rather W (STBXW ?) tells them? Probably yes. So why? Maybe something regarding having W take ownership or admittance of what she’s done. You can’t control that, you can’t force that, and you end up waiting around.
You control you. You respect your boys, and they deserve to know the truth. Yes, it would be nice (maybe) if W could/would own up; of course, if she could she wouldn’t be in a crisis doing what she’s doing.
You left the heavy lifting of filing to W. The letting the boys know the necessary facts is falling to you it seems. Rather standard in my opinion, as MLCer’s become pretty secretive about the important stuff.
You are standing and moving forward.
Please let me know how the conversation with the boys goes.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
