Finally DBing and Accepting

[Steve_]

Yeah Drh, we had just bought a home, just painted the kids rooms in the nee home, put tens of thousands into it and then boom. All gone and she’s in an apartment with OM. Whatever you or I thought was important or endearing enough to anchor a person to commitment (family/kids/history) that all goes away and means nothing. The excitement of OM and a new story overpowers it. Funny thing is that I’ve changed a lot but she hasn’t. Apparently my WW’s OM is heartbroken and disappointed, he loves my WW but she promised to raise his 3 kids along with our two, and do all that wife like stuff, cook, clean, etc... I did all that for her, no OM is sad because he left his W for my WW and she just sleeps all day, she stopped cooking and cleaning and watching the kids, she doesn’t want to be intimate with him and is argumentative. She is exactly the same person she was with me. OM threw his life away for the same illusion I had and it doesn’t last long. Sandi is right, only hard reality will ever get a WW to change.

I accepted one thing: There is nothing and I mean nothing we can do as LBS to change the course of a WW’s actions or mindset. We love them from a distance, admit our mistakes and just give them the room they need to figure themselves out. I realize that my WW won’t ever respect how much I did for her, how spoiled and cherished she was until someone else shows her something different. I’m sure my WW will at some point want me back into an R with her on her terms but I won’t do that. I know better now. I am worth a lot more than second place.