Steve, please, you need to get out of those insane dependence cycles. Detach and free yourself. Show your children how to be in a healthy R. That’s not posible with STBXW. You can’t be serious about going to live with her and not been room mates. Cmon man..., please.
Stand strong there. Keep DB. Avoid all R talks. Keep the dark environment around her. Live your life, GAL!