What's New Today pt2

[CanBird]

Christmas Eve Day. Made plans with a friend and had a fun kids playdate. Us moms got to hang out too which is always a blessing. especially when we manage to have adult conversations..lol..

On the way to the playdate, as we were loading up our wagon, D4 started to talk about her dad again. Wondering and wishing he was here, she misses him. That kind of thing. So I said what came from my heart, in that moment..

Me: "You know how sometimes you like alone time? Sometimes mommy likes alone time... we do fun things when we have our alone time right? Sometimes daddy has alone time, and he does things that are fun for him. "

D4: "But he will be alone, and that makes me sad, I miss him".

Me: "He's okay honey, he's might be traveling or going on an adventure. He works really hard, and now it's his time to play."

Me: "Now let's go on our adventure with our friends and play!" D4: YAY!!!!

So that was a quick moment. And a few minutes later, as I'm pulling her in the wagon she says more.

D4: "Dad has gone way and doesn't want to be with family or his little girl".

Me: (I stopped in my tracks and got down to her level) "Honey, did someone say that to you? Or is this something you just thought of right now?"

D4: "I just thought of it on my own, right now."

Me: "Remember what we talked about earlier, about having alone time? It's okay right? It's something we do and we love each other. I love you, daddy loves you. Does that make sense to you? Do you understand?"

D4: "Yeah, I understand. I love you too"

There will be more to this conversation, but that was what I've started with. About a week ago, she looked in my closet, on the side his clothes use to be on. She was looking for his clothes she said. I forget what I said, but I distracted her. Guess I would figured something out.

As I've mentioned previously, I opened up the conversation to her dad when our D became final, end of Oct. 2020.
What do you want her to know? His only reply was, "I don't know..." Wow. How does that feel? to just drop everything and RUN away from your child? I'm in shocked that he hasn't reached out to her. I am angry. I am sad for her, but mostly disappointed in the kind of father he is being. Unless he is in the hospital or jail, there no acceptable reason for him not contacting D4. I really hope he has some sense in that head of his to reach, even if he leaves a message.

I'm SO glad both sides of his parents KNOW the truth about the ow and where he might be. I believe XH & ow are traveling. Perhaps a honeymoon ? This is why he is not available? And he's selfish. ow knows about D4. I'm shaking my head in disbelief that he hasn't contacted her. When either of my mother-in-laws ask if XH has reached out to D4, that's ALL on him. I've made it EASY for him, given him her schedule: we're pretty much always available. He's clearly not interested. Too busy. Makes me sick. Just cares about himself.

Any way. When I speak to D4 about her dad, I will not speak ill of him. Never throw him under the bus. He's doing a pretty good job of that himself. I will always tell D4 that her dad loves her. I'd like to think that her dad and I are friends, and we can love each other as friends, care about each other in that way, but I'm really disappointed in his behavior. But, then again, this is a MLC/WAS kind of guy I'm dealing with. A ghost really.

MERRY CHRISTMAS friends.

Looking forward to celebrating with D4 & my friends family, that has been our extended family (ohana) always.