I'm so sorry for what you're experiencing. I am going through something similar. It is hard hard hard. But I will say I have found a strength in me that I didn't know I had. We will all be here for you as much as we can.
me: 46 h: 49 m: 24 T: 27 DD1:20 DD2:17 DS:12 BD1: PA for 2 yrs 08/2016 BD2: OW is one of my closest friends 12/2016 BD3: H wants a D 11/2019 Now: He is in the same house, but has filed for divorce.