It is actually surreal to look back at what happened to me in the beginning of my sitch. I mean I didn’t go off the deep end, I didn’t lose my job or do anything to blow up my life but in a way I blew up internally. It was the first time in my life where I didn’t recognize myself. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know what was real from the past and I couldn’t figure out anything expect I needed my wife.
Of course it was all wrong
The problem was it took me 7 months to figure out that who I needed was me and somewhere along the way I lost that guy and I owed it to myself to find him again. I’m getting there.
In no way am I saying I’m over the hurt. It hurts daily. What I’m saying is that I’m actually living in reality now. Instead of pining over a woman who was already gone and letting hope allow me to ignore reality, I’ve accepted it.
Now my reality is that my marriage is over and my heart is broken. It’s not the best news but hey it’s something I can work with because it’s real.
