That’s a very good reason and I think necessary. I know for me in the beginning I was so wrapped up in the idea that my wife loved me and was just making a mistake that I couldn’t hear it. Really crazy to look back at my old post now. I can see the naivety.
My wife was gone long before BD and her actions post BD should have had me walking away immediately .
Ultimately I’m not mad at myself for waiting though. I’ve learned a lot about myself, relationships, different attachments, personality types, communication and so much more.
I think one of the biggest take aways for me is to not project my feelings onto someone else.
After her affair I was believing the projection I had created of my wife based on my feeling for her. I wasn’t looking at the reality of her telling me she wanted to end our marriage, had an affair and was no longer in love with me.
Although I would never tell her this I am also grateful because I do believe I got to experience what it feels like to truly love someone with every inch of my being, not saying that was reciprocated from her but I am grateful for the experience of being able to give that to someone.
