So yes deep thinking, which a lot of us are blessed with, does have both a positive and negative. I have found that deep thinking causes me to over-think things sometimes. I can remember when I used to play hockey. I played so much better when I just reacted, and didn't think. When I started overthinking things I would turn the puck over, or pass when I should have shot and shot when I should have passed. But when I stopped thinking and just reacted I would score multiple goals and setup my teammates for goals. DBing is a lot like that. Though I try to tell LBSs not to react, but to respond. Reaction tend to be intuitive. Push for pull. But stopping, considering, not overthinking, then responding based on what you know is the right course of action.
Hi Steve- thanks for stopping by.
I can relate to this very much. Thinking can get in the way and end up paralyzing you, this is very true.
Learning not to react in an emotional situation, while simultaneously not overthinking, is a habit that takes time to learn. When we are first LBS, we do not have the capacity to understand how this works. But the great part of "limbo" if you want to call it that, is that LBS have the time - all the time they want - to work on things like that.
It goes back to the "time is a gift" quote. I've found that simple quote one of the most profound on this site.
Originally Posted by LH19
I,
I’m glad you’re doing well. Your situation is certainly unique and I do not think I’ve seen any quite like yours.
What would it take from your w for reconciliation?
Does she ever talk about the future and what it looks like?
Hi LH - good to hear from you. I had written a response to you but it disappeared into the cloud somehow.
I'm not really allowing myself to think about recon much. I'm living day by day and not worrying about what will happen tomorrow. The pandemic has had a large part in that - everything became too confusing and intertwined so I just dropped it.
I felt much better when I did.
But to answer your question, it would be the basics. And it would involve both of us. Communication. Trust. Honesty. Friendship. Commitment.
Are those possible going forward? I don't know. I think I would like to try, but it would have to be new, and it would take 2 people. Right now its not there yet. Speculating on the future hasn't happened either. But things are much calmer, and given everything else that's going on in the world right now I am grateful for that
