Benji, WB. Sounds like things are going fairly well. As I said before, your sitch is a bit different than most here since your W isn't wanting a D, and is willing to work on things, even if showing a bit of a wayward side.
As far as how you are feeling, best to explore that in IC first before bringing it up in MC. MC should be about reconnecting, and working on the MR. The insecurities you feel inside are better to be dealt with in your IC because likely that is what they are, and there is nothing actionable your W can do to help.
Yes, most LBSs are shocked to find out how long their WAS has been struggling with the issues. Most think their sitches start on BD, when in fact they actually started years before. This is why there are no quick fixes. You cannot use words to fix what you acted your way into. You cannot fix overnight what took years to get into. What I will also tell you is that an OM is not your issue, it is hers. A lot of LBSs want full disclosure as part of their recovery. I see no value in full disclosure. None. It doesn't sound like she has had a lot of opportunity to cheat, however a friend that was cheating on her husband once told me that where there is a will there is a way. That a spouse that wants to cheat will move mountains to make it possible. Even taking off of work to be with their AP. But the thing is that you cannot obsess about it. The truth has a way of coming out. I would focus on you and on working on the MR, and forget about mights and maybes at this point.
As far as her being opposed to affairs, my W was like that too. I can remember our early years of marriage her begging me to never cheat on her. Of course I am morally opposed to it and she knew that, but then her attitude changed during her WW. "I can understand why you would cheat if you ever did." she once said to me. HuH? This is what sandi likes to say "this is not the girl you married!" It is hard truth for LBSs to understand. Especially LBHs! We have this image of our Ws never changing. The truth is that we all do.
So for now focus on the positives. Your W may be struggling a bit with waywardness (ie the discussion about wanting a spouse to be sexually fulfilled even if that means with someone else!). But she isn't wanting a D, she is willing to work on the MR, and that is all something a lot of other LBSs on this forum would die to have!
Keep up the good work, work through your insecurities in IC, keep working on the MR, and do what works!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
