Well done with X, stating son’s condition and offering the visit as son seems to be getting better. Of course, overall it is better that S2 stayed home and rested. This successful and respectful interchange has laid the ground work for another good resolution the next time a sickness or something unforeseen arises.
Originally Posted by scout12
The weird thing was how... respectful... X was in his messages. He thanked me and said he hoped I don’t get sick. That’s literally the first time he’s ever shown me any consideration since the day he left a year and a half ago. Seriously!
Two things come to mind:
First: Dog training. Reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad. X was respectful and displayed empathy. Shock! Acknowledge it. A simple and sincere thank you. I know you won’t go overboard, and I want to ensure you that is the right response.
Second: Divorce and the finality of it. That changes a person. The loss, whether wanted or not, sought or not, becomes real and will be grieved. X’s situation is not all sunshine and roses. Divorce is the end of something and the start of something. X is starting to realize and face his life and his choices. That will probably start and stop as he progresses; nonetheless he is changing.
From where he was over the last year and a half, a change would be either become completely absent or become a better person. (My XW became absent) He might revert now and then, however with your boundaries and ground work he will need to remain respectful.
I know this is only one episode, so far. However, anything, including changing, starts with one action or step. More will follow, it’s just a matter of when and how often.
Take care.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Acknowledge it. A simple and sincere thank you. I know you won’t go overboard, and I want to ensure you that is the right response.