The poor kid wanted us to fight so we "talk" it made us fight and yeah pushed us apart...
I didn’t chose to argue with her I just responded to the attacks, which after long explainations to her about why our son is trying to save our M with poor behaviors
Hi Steve_, "responding to the attacks" which you previously characterized as a "fight" is a choice. Not long ago my kids and I passed an old woman who shouted at us, "This is my street! What the $*$*%$ are you doing?" She was attempting to whack an umbrella at anyone within striking distance. I didn't see her connect with anyone. I told my son to avoid looking at her, we continued to walk about a block, and then I contacted the police. I waited until the police arrived. I'm hoping she was connected with her family, medications, or a psychiatric evaluation. I'm glad they got to her before she actually hit anyone.
You control your behavior. You choose how you respond to attacks.
Normally, if you're attacked physically we'd advise doing what you need to do to get to safety and then calling 9-1-1, and if you're attacked verbally to say "I won't be talked to that way" and then leave or hang up.
Trying to soothe your wife with "long explanations" is no longer your job.
Soothing your ex-wife's feelings is her's and OM's jobs.
