Still taking it a day at a time (2)

[may22]

OnlyBent, Tom, thanks for the thoughts-- it is good to hear from you. Bent, I like that quote!

I meant him more as a the person he is now and not what he did in the past.

I don't think I'm quite ready to make this determination yet, TBH. What he did in the past is still so raw to me and unlike what I thought he was capable of that I'm recalibrating all of that. And, he is too-- I don't know how he'll end up reconciling his own image of himself with his behavior. That's his work, though, not mine, and I feel like I'll see how that goes and where he ends up.

Outside of the A, though, and all that surrounds that-- if i didn't know about the A (and if I was still in the SSM mindset) I'd be in heaven. He's a way more engaged and present father. Does far more around the house. Kinder, more considerate, more thoughtful than he had been in years. Far more empathetic towards others (though I really haven't felt that lens turn towards me), acknowledging and assessing his privilege for the first time in his life. Much better at communicating how he feels if he's upset rather than just taking it out on the nearest person (usually me). I mean, the spoon incident is something that five years ago was total par for the course. Now, it is unusual. And still the smart and funny man I married. The only thing he used to do that I miss is the sweet and romantic gestures. Those are missing.